I work for a very well-known, worldwide non-profit organization and have pretty much happily for over a year now. The pay is too low, the cause is saint-worthy, and I'm not even a religious person. Now, on a personal level, I have a tendency to be humourous, sarcastic, and often deeply cynical. Some might label my humour as "black" if one of my colleagues would describe it. I take everything with a grain of salt which at times make me look like an asshole and at other times makes me look like one abrasive son of a bitch, but I always try to stay what I would like to call "light-hearted offensive" without pushing boundaries of others. I like to bust balls and make light of things even that probably don't ever require and would probably often only call for serious and stern attention and focus which often makes me look like a fool. All this aside, working in a non-profit has tested my own limits in humour and boundaries of others a lot more then for-profit or other professions I've kept. Many I work with I like to consider "heroes" or ones that would be knights and crusaders in times past. Oblivious to humour and seeing a particular mission as tantamount and ultimately righteous causes, I see heroes expose themselves to extreme heartache and displeasure within non-profit causes. I think the idea of being heroes or heroines have enticed all (including me) to non-profit professions. Some of us remain oblivious to what seem like ultimate goals of righteousness and proper humanity that no man or woman can hope to attain in one lifetime, but most fall. Sobering in reality and feeling heartache and disappointment after what are hefty defeats and immovable obstacles, most non-profit employees develop a thick skin to cope with the pain of a cause that will for all intensive purposes, have no forseeable end.

"Non-profit cynicism" is a unique phenomenon that I have discovered within the non-profit world, within the organization that employs me and through the various non-profits I have had the opportunity to work beside or partnership with. Often you may hear of the other side of cynicism of the public on their views of non-profits. The question of "What really do they actually do?" and "Where does my money and donations go?" is what many think of as being "non-profit cynicism." The mega-church with the pastor driving a Cadillac comes to mind as an often recurring cynical thought when thinking of non-profit causes. Its often a well-needed criticism of many organizations and a valid fear for the potential supporters of charitable causes but the kind of criticism I'm talking about deals within the organizations themselves. The thick skin of cynicism is often the coping mechanism of "crusaders" of the non-profit world.

Generally, non-profits are in many ways, odd and ironic organizations of humanity. Non-profits have everything to do with money in supporting their various causes despite having a "non-profit" connotation. It's not necessarily a bad statement if you think that it has to do with basic survival and preservation, but you quickly realize that money always comes first before any charitable work can be done. Social consciousness is not necessarily a self-sustainable resource that can be bought and traded. There's millions of causes out there and only a couple I can ultimately choose to care about enough to make any sort of impact. So funding and fundraising is a cornerstone to all non-profits. You have grant writers, people in donor relations, people who exclusively use "Raiser's Edge" software, you have directors that specifically headhunt for "big money" and you have countless dinners, silent auctions, and chintzy merchandising in all non-profits. To sell yourself and your cause, you practically "brand" your cause. For instance, look at breast cancer, one of many forms of cancer and a very noble cause. Susan G. Komen's foundation pretty much has every right to the use of the color pink exclusively on this globe and practically sells as much or even more yogurt then ground-breaking research. In no modest way it has instrumentally and perhaps unknowingly changed the social reasoning from "I want to help find a cure for breast cancer" to "I eat yogurt for breast cancer" or better yet, "I put this bumper sticker on my car for breast cancer" in the minds of our society. I cannot knock the hustle of highly successful campaigns like the "pink ribbon" but in every non-profit workers mind, their comes a time where to gain ground, you must lower the common denominator of your cause. It becomes apparent and the proverbial meat of your cause lessens and/or dwindles well-informed awareness.

All non-profits must endure heartache. No cause is ever finished and with the helping of disadvantaged, you are destined to see failure of the most intense and human kind. There's simply no way around it, especially when you pour your heart into something especially with direct support of things involving human lives in such a direct way (building homes, rehabilitation, disabilities, disease, etc.) All non-profit work is really a test of compassion. Certainly it isn't appealing for the money because 99% of non-profits don't have any to give to you. You will always be undervalued monetarily for the sake of the cause and overvalued in karma for your dedication to the cause by the organization and others alike. Its often thankless and you ironically also take it very personally when something fails and shun the glories of personal credit when its due to you. Something about non-profit work that makes it hard to possess an ownership or personal pride beyond general and hard to measure values.

Being in a non-profit is a funny thing and something I'll always keep in my mind long after I leave this "cause" regardless where I end up. I'm largely grateful that I haven't seen a a lot of heartache within where I work, but I am also glad I have developed a skin to cover myself from the barbs of non-profits.